I have something as a minister's wife I need to confess...
There is "type" of minister's wife out there that I just envision when I think of a woman being a minister's wife, and probably what some church members expect to see when they see a minister's wife... you know the kind. perfectly dressed, awesome hair, always smiling, speaks eloquently, women adore her, she's the first woman signed up for everything at church, quotes the perfect scripture for the moment, and reverently falls in line behind her husband...
So, envisioning the above woman as the "perfect" minister's wife, that makes me......
Me? I love my shorts/jeans and t-shirts, i love my chacos, my hair is usually in a ponytail, I wear minimal make-up which doesn't begin to hide my skin flaws, the only time I can speak eloquently is when I'm explaining a math problem, I tend to get along better with guys than girls because I hate drama, and I tend to give my opinions on matters to my husband.
There are simply days when I look at myself and wonder why in the world God chose me to be married to a minister. I have often bought into the lie that the above picture is what I need to strive to look like/be like/act like, which is definitely a great picture to look at... except the fact that it is not me.
Over the last few months, God has been working on me. Really working on me. He has shown me ministries and opportunities that get me excited and passionate about serving people for Him for the first time in a long time. He has given me a husband that thinks I'm beautiful at my worst, my just rolled-out-of-bed-barely-mustered-energy-to-get-dressed look. My husband values me, values my opinion, and relies on me to be his best friend. He has given me a beautiful son that doesn't care if I can speak with beautiful churchy words. He simply loves it when I sing silly songs, make funny noises for him to repeat, and tell him I love him.
There are days when I look at those seemingly perfect wives, or read their latest blog on how to have the perfect marriage, ministry, budget or children and twinge a little inside because I don't measure up. Or feel jealous or inadaquate because I look at some wives and wonder, how in the world do they look like that everyday and not spend a fortune of time and money to achieve their look? But I'm learning to be ok with who I am, focus on the tremendous blessings he has given me, and find my stride in different ministries.