Right now I am in the trenches of toddlerhood. My incredibly defiant, very bright, sensitive, curious, and argumentative 3 year old is eating my lunch. every.single.day. I think they have his photo on the front cover of the strong willed child. I also have a 16 month old that is one of the most exploring, into EVERYTHING, no fearing, beautiful, heart melting toddler there ever was. She is literally a tasmanian devil right now. They think its absolutely hilarious to get into mischief together. Most days I am just trying to stay on top of the chores, feeding time, nap time, bedtime routines, and making sure the 16 month old isn't hanging from the chandelier above the dining room table, because silly me went to change out the laundry and came back to her LITERALLY HANGING FROM THE CHANDELIER. Who knew she could climb on the bench, climb onto the table, and reach up to grab hold of it? All the while trying to calm a hysterical 3 year old down because I cut his strawberries up today instead of giving them to him whole because silly me, he demanded them CUT UP YESTERDAY.
There are days that are draining, when bedtime can't come soon enough, and I go to bed feeling like a complete and miserable failure of a mom. I would never be so arrogant to claim that this age is the hardest part of motherhood, because every age will bring its own weariness, challenges, and nights spent feeling like a failure for one reason or another. Infancy wasn't easy, and I can bet the pre-teen years might do me in.
Today, after one of these very tough days where patience wore thin, I felt like I spent most of the day screaming "NO!" or yelling for someone to stop something, demanding obedience, or disciplining out of frustration instead of love, I realized that motherhood stole my joy today. Has that ever happened to you? Because before I knew it, I had recapped the day in tears realizing that all the things I had given over to the Lord yesterday in my parenting, I failed in today. I let my children dictate my joy that day, instead of the Lord.
So, dear mothers in the trenches with me, what do we do about this? Well, there are days when the feeling of failure in inevitable... But there are few things we have to remember when motherhood steals your joy.
1. We are all in this together. When all is said and done, we need each other to remind ourselves that we aren't alone. Nothing brightens your day more than when you can send a text, call a fellow mom friend, or get out of the house of crazies for a few heavenly minutes for coffee or ice cream and joke, laugh it off, cry it out, and exchange hysterical mommy failure stories together. We all have those friends (and if you don't, then find one ASAP!), the one you can tell about your horrible day as a mom and they can always one-up you in their own mommy failures, making you feel so much better about life after that. Nothing better than a good sarcastic commentary with another mom about how awful you were that day, so you can put it behind you, realize it wasn't that bad, and move on and press ahead.
2. Remind yourself that you are so much more than a mom. Many of us have so many other different roles. Wife, employee, boss, student, daughter, niece, granddaughter....stay-at-home moms especially tend to get wrapped up the role of mommy that when we do have a bad day in that role, we allow it to steal our joy because it's the role we are the most invested in. Take a moment to focus on something else, enjoy it, and let another role restore your spirit. Call your own mom, encourage a co-worker, enjoy a nice conversation with your husband after the kids go to bed....
3. Remember that tomorrow is a new day. So you completely stunk it up today? Tomorrow you might just be a rockstar! I think I am the worlds worst about dwelling on negative moments, days, or seasons. But the truth is, everyday is new, and His mercies are new every morning. No one is more grateful for that than ME! And NEVER EVER allow your bad day today define tomorrow for you as well. You will find that your children are some of the best forgivers out there, so forgive yourself, seek forgiveness from God, and ask Him to restore your joy.
Mommyhood is hard y'all. Stay Strong!
