That night I packed their things quickly, we placed them by the door, and then the kids fell asleep on the couch waiting for the caseworker to come. Our Buckner caseworker told me she was on call that night and asked us if we needed some time before another placement and I said "Bring it on if you get one!" When the caseworker arrived, Jake scooped up the boy and I scooped up the girl and we wept as we loaded them into the car and listening to them cry for us. Then we wept some more.
That night was so emotionally taxing on us, we actually got a call at 2 a.m. just hours after the kids were gone from our sweet caseworker telling me she has a 1 year old boy that needs placing and wondered if we were interested. There.was.no.way. That night after turning him down I couldn't go back to sleep. I even texted her back an hour later (without my husband knowing, lol) to see if they still needed a home for him. Luckily, he was already in a home.
Throughout the next few weeks, we "almost" got 4 different kids. There is nothing more crazy than the anticipation of a child coming to live with you in hopes to love on them. You get attached immediately, without ever meeting them. Here are some things we learned in first few months of being a foster parent.
1. Loving hurting children hurts. It hurts your heart to see what they have been through, it hurts your heart to see them possibly lash out against your own children, and it hurts your heart to realize that you can't fix it. But, getting to show them that Jesus is healer is awesome.
2. You are not always the best place for them long term. Having a child in your own home makes you feel like there is no better place for them. You are their safe haven for the moment. Their protector. And then they get moved somewhere else, whether that be a grandparent, a friend, or another foster home. You didn't get a say in that at all. But the beautiful thing is that God is their ultimate protector, he goes before them, wherever they go. And so we trust that God knows best, God's timing is best, and God has a plan for their lives.
3. You CANNOT do this well (or even not so well sometimes lol) without Him. This is seriously the hardest thing I've ever done. Not just the emotional side of things, but the logistical side of things. Paperwork upon paperwork, trainings, meetings, therapy, dr appts and dentist appts to get into immediately because of medical neglect, teaching them things they should have learned 2 years before, playing catch up. It's taxing physically, mentally, emotionally, and time wise. But God sustains. He breathes life. And everyday is new :)
4. It is worth it. Just 2 months in and I can already tell you, IT.IS.WORTH.IT. I'm hooked. I love the moments when you look at how far these kids have come in just a matter of weeks. It makes you feel like every bit of exhaustion and crazy days running around and intensive teaching of skills, manners, letters, etc.. is worth it. These children are worth it.
Now we have 2 non-related 4 year olds. We got the 4.5 year old girl first, and then a week later we got the little boy that turned 4 just a few days after we got him. Because of so many different delays and such with the 2 kiddos, and because our own 2.5 year old is ahead of the game, my mom said "It's like you have three year old triplets." Yep..Pretty much. Mom is my name and Refereeing is my game. lol. Pray for us as we are settling into "normal" again. The honeymoons are over and we are doing life as a family of 6.
2. You are not always the best place for them long term. Having a child in your own home makes you feel like there is no better place for them. You are their safe haven for the moment. Their protector. And then they get moved somewhere else, whether that be a grandparent, a friend, or another foster home. You didn't get a say in that at all. But the beautiful thing is that God is their ultimate protector, he goes before them, wherever they go. And so we trust that God knows best, God's timing is best, and God has a plan for their lives.
3. You CANNOT do this well (or even not so well sometimes lol) without Him. This is seriously the hardest thing I've ever done. Not just the emotional side of things, but the logistical side of things. Paperwork upon paperwork, trainings, meetings, therapy, dr appts and dentist appts to get into immediately because of medical neglect, teaching them things they should have learned 2 years before, playing catch up. It's taxing physically, mentally, emotionally, and time wise. But God sustains. He breathes life. And everyday is new :)
4. It is worth it. Just 2 months in and I can already tell you, IT.IS.WORTH.IT. I'm hooked. I love the moments when you look at how far these kids have come in just a matter of weeks. It makes you feel like every bit of exhaustion and crazy days running around and intensive teaching of skills, manners, letters, etc.. is worth it. These children are worth it.
Now we have 2 non-related 4 year olds. We got the 4.5 year old girl first, and then a week later we got the little boy that turned 4 just a few days after we got him. Because of so many different delays and such with the 2 kiddos, and because our own 2.5 year old is ahead of the game, my mom said "It's like you have three year old triplets." Yep..Pretty much. Mom is my name and Refereeing is my game. lol. Pray for us as we are settling into "normal" again. The honeymoons are over and we are doing life as a family of 6.
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